The Life of Vi

By Violet Elaine Thomas

10 Tips for Living an Eco-Friendly Lifestyle

· Lifestyle

Something that has been so important to me lately is reducing my carbon footprint. I never thought that my actions alone would make much of an impact, but then I had a thought… If everyone thinks this, nothing would ever change.

My childhood best friend of 10 years (Wow, I feel old just saying that) has made a conscious effort over the past year to preserve and restore our planet. I have taken in so many useful and practical tips just from being in close proximity to her. I figured there was no one better than her to share some tips on how to live an eco-friendly lifestyle.

Below you will find 10 tips that Kate recommends implementing into your daily routine. These tips were written by her in hopes that they would be easy, practical, and affordable. Enjoy!

1. Eat less meat – Try Meatless Monday!

After trying to go completely vegetarian for a week, I realized the lifestyle was not for me. For now. A lot of you probably feel the same way! Perhaps your mom still cooks meals that you want to take advantage of, or maybe meat is your absolute favorite thing to eat and giving it up sounds like a nightmare. I get it. The thing is, though, you do not have to have a completely meat-free diet to help the planet. I made the decision to stop eating both beef and pork, as I had discovered that these industries had an especially harmful impact on our environment. I also decided to participate in Meatless Monday. For more information on that, check out meatlessmonday.org.

2. Buy secondhand clothes!

A sad truth Ive learned in the past couple years is that the fashion industry is horrible for our planet, especially with the rise of fast fashion – cheap clothes made with cheap products. Businessinsider.com informs us that The fashion industry produces 10% of all humanity’s carbon emissions, is the second-largest consumer of the world’s water supply, and pollutes the oceans with microplastics.

I love shopping and playing with different styles, so I have discovered some alternatives that allow me to do this while still being mindful! Next time you are looking for new clothing consider purchasing from a thrift store. I have found so many deals on unique items doing this. Its kind of like going on a hunt for hidden treasure; you never know what youll find! Other options are to buy from or swap with your friends, or to shop with companies that are taking real steps towards sustainability. Also consider buying items made with sturdier fabrics. They will probably be more expensive, but will last you a few years vs. a season or two.

3. Say no to the straw!

Start using metal straws, or even reusable plastic ones. Single use plastic straws often slip through the cracks and dont make it into the recycling bin. This leads to them ending up in our oceans. You may have heard it before, as it has been circling the internet for a few years now, but our oceans are projected to have more plastic in them than fish by 2050!

Its a small change, but to our ocean friends it makes all the difference. The turtles will thank you.

4. Turn off the lights!

This saves energy and lowers your electrical bill! A win-win.

5. Turn off the water!

Use less water by remembering to turn it off while you brush your teeth or wash your hands. Its such a simple thing I often forget it myself!

6. Recycle! 

Look into your citys recycling guidelines and see which items you might be able to send off to a new life, instead of to the landfill!

7. Use less toilet paper. 

This one is not something I ever thought about it until I became more interested in an eco-friendly lifestyle. As a single use paper product, it is already bad for the environment, but what really causes the issue is the production of it, specifically its correlation with deforestation. According to National Geographic we flush approximately 27,000 trees down the toilet every single day.

Next time you go to the restroom, take a second to consider how much toilet paper you need, versus how much youre actually using. Youll probably be shocked, as I was, at how much extra your absentmindedly tearing off!

8. Reusable cups!

This one is super simple to implement into your life, and it keeps loads of single use plastic bottles out of our landfills! I first started using a reusable water bottle for school and travel purposes. This is pretty easy to do these days because many public places such as universities, airports, and places of work, have added bottle filling stations to their fountains. The hardest part is remembering to bring your bottle each day, hahaha. 

As a coffee lover, and frequent Starbucks customer, I decided it would also be worth my while to invest in a couple of reusable coffee cups. This change is a little more difficult because, unlike a water bottle, youll probably want to wash it between every drink. If you drink coffee as much as I do this can feel like a bit of a hassle. That is why I sometimes opt to simply go inside if I have time and ask to have my coffee in a glass or mug! Yes, they have them! 

9. Bring your own shopping bags!

This one is fun because you get to save the planet, and look cute doing it! Hahaha. Much like reusable cups, the most difficult part of making this switch is remembering to bring your bags to the store. Try leaving your bags in the trunk, or if you only need a couple things consider just carrying them to the car! 

10. Dont strive for perfection, strive for improvement. 

You are going to mess up. Youll forget your cup or your bags, youll tear off too much toilet paper, and youll leave lights on when youre too tired to get up and turn them off. These things are inevitable. Instead of beating yourself up every time you make a mistake, use it as a reminder to do better next time. We are all on our own journeys toward sustainability and the growth process looks different for everyone. What matters to our beautiful planet Earth is that you continue to try, and by doing so, inspire others to do the same.

I hope you have found these tips to be helpful. All of these are attainable and realistically so simple for all of us to implement in our lives.

I’d like to give a special thanks to my sweet friend Kate for taking the time to write these tips out for y’all. If you don’t already, follow her on instagram @thekatesaylor. She posts wholesome earthy content and has a way with her words.

What are ways that you contribute to living an eco-friendly lifestyle? We’d love to hear.

Xoxo, Vi

Father’s Day Gift Guide

· Style

Chase has always wanted to be a Daddy!
I knew he would love our little fella so much!
They are best buddies!

Facetime dates with Daddy are HD’s favorite!

Father’s Day is just around the corner! I wanted to put together this gift guide so you can shop for all of the special dads in your life! Whether it’s your dad or your own husband, I rounded up several gifts in different categories with hopes that you can find something just right.

This is Chase’s first Father’s Day and since he is currently deployed, we sent him a care package with his favorite things and a few nice gifts. If I were still shopping for Chase, he would definitely tie for the “Tailgate Dad” or the “BBQ-Loving Dad.”

I also listed a few sources that name black owned businesses you can shop to further support the black community. Please consider buying things you are needing, or wanting, from these businesses. You can also do a quick google search for black owned businesses that are near you so that you can shop local businesses and help keep them running during this pandemic.

The Classic Dad

The Athletic Dad

The Techy Dad

The Tailgate Dad

The BBQ-Loving Dad

The Silly Dad

Personalized Gifts for Dad

Black Owned Online Businesses:

https://www.etsy.com/featured/blackownedshops?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=online%20black%20owned%20businesses_e&utm_campaign=Search_US_Nonbrand_GGL_Politics_Social-Justice_New_LT_Exact&utm_ag=Black-Owned%2BShops&utm_custom1=0d7caf83-c959-4841-9680-bd95fd91abba&utm_content=go_10221881501_102356872975_439825159817_aud-301856855998:kwd-825147821266_c_&utm_custom2=10221881501&gclid=CjwKCAjw5vz2BRAtEiwAbcVIL9wiFeLgXtCfbLAUxBxvoaATbnPAl6fkJN4SmwvfdZ9BVWtYMMgEdhoCgIAQAvD_BwE

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hannahmarder/black-owned-online-businesses

https://people.com/lifestyle/black-owned-businesses-to-shop-right-now-to-show-your-support/

Why I’m Using My Voice and Why You Should, Too

· Faith

This is hard. I want to preface this by saying that I could not possibly understand the pain people of color are feeling right now, but I do stand with you. Because I am not black, there is no way for me to know what it is like to be shamed solely based on the color of my skin. I have white privilege and it took far too long for me to realize it. For this, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I did not realize I was apart of the problem. From now on, I will only be apart of the solution and I will use my voice to stand with the oppressed and give them the space they need to bring justice to their community.

It’s taken me a minute to gain the courage to write this post. I’ve typed so many words and erased them all in fear that I would offend someone due to lack of knowledge. I will be the first to admit that I was blinded by my privilege. I’m 75% white and 25% Korean and because my skin is light, I have never been placed into a position where I do not belong. I have never been considered dangerous. I have never needed to fear law enforcement. For so long, I have lived in the dark because I have always been in favor of the system.

Over the past week, I have spent a great amount of time journaling, researching, and collecting my thoughts. I know that my ignorance has been hurting black lives. A few years ago, when I first heard of the movement #BlackLivesMatter, I was one of those people who would instantly say “All lives matter.” And yes… they do, but the world we live in has proven ten times over that white lives are the priority. This is NOT OKAY. This is why #BlackLivesMatter is trending. This is why it needs to be talked about. Black lives are not and have never been matched with the same honor as white lives.

I have always told myself that I see no color. I love people of many different skin colors and I have never once cared for someone less because of it, but I will admit that I was wrong in ignoring the color of their skin. Ignoring color is not helping. It’s time to see the color, become aware of the problems surrounding it, and do something to help bring equality. Carlos A. Rodriguez said, “I see no color is not the goal. I see your color and I honor you. I value your input. I will be educated about your lived experiences. I will work against the racism that harms you. You are beautiful. Tell me how to do better. … Thats the goal.” That is my goal. If it isn’t already yours, it should be.

My freshman year of college, my English professor selected white privilege to be our research and writing topic. At first, I was annoyed that I had to spend 16 weeks reading about this. I originally thought the phrase “white privilege” was implying that all white people were racist. I knew that this was not true for myself. I had never, on purpose, done something that was racist. I didn’t think I needed to spend this much time focusing on my privilege because I truly thought that I was not the problem. Looking back, I’m so grateful for this professor and all of the knowledge I took with me once that class had ended.

In this class we read many articles, books, and essays that referenced white privilege. One that stuck out to me profoundly was titled “What riding my bike has taught me about white privilege” by Jeremy Dowsett. I will link it at the end of this post for those that are interested. Please take the time and give it a read. It’s short and is so helpful in understanding what white privilege is without being pushy or abrasive. Dowsett uses an analogy of riding his bike on a road built for cars in comparison to being black in a world that favors white people. It sounds funny at first, but I promise it is worth the read.

The most helpful piece I took away from this article was the line, “The system is skewed in ways that you maybe havent realized or had to think about precisely because its skewed in your favor.” That hit me hard. It is so true. I never noticed the flaws because I wasn’t being targeted. I know and love so many people that are not white, and for them, I will fight the system and help bring justice for the people of color.

Another note I want to mention from Dowsett’s piece is when he discusses what privilege isn’t. By saying to someone that they have privilege, it isn’t saying that they are evil, you hate them, or that they are racist. What it is doing is simply acknowledging the fact that the system is skewed in your favor. If you have never heard of systemic racism, please do your research. I will link a video I found on Instagram that takes the narrative back in time in a a simple and informative manner.

Up until recently, I have always been one that has put my differences with my loved ones aside so that we could come together. I would “agree to disagree” so that our relationship didn’t suffer because of our difference in opinions. But if you don’t believe there is an error in our system, I cannot agree to disagree. Our system is flawed. It has been for years. I was born into this system, and likely, you were too. But that doesn’t mean we have to accept this as our normal and continue to allow of friends of color to be treated less than. I have talked with many loved ones in my life who do not believe that black people are treated less than. I have had tough conversations with those who think the system is equal and that people of color receive the same opportunities and punishment. My mom and I have been talking about this for a bit and she said something to me that truly resonated with my heart; “We have a moral obligation to do something here. This is about more than just cops killing black folks. This is about systemic institutional racism that is every bit intentional. Our government and capitalist society depends on the oppression of black folks in order to thrive. We have to work towards dismantling systems of oppression, and its going to be hard. This isnt just about arresting bad cops but about overhauling our whole law enforcement system. Its about retraining the way Americans view race and having difficult discussions. And its about exposing those who benefit from their oppression.”

If you are being silent on your social media, at home, or with your friends, you are doing all of your black friends an injustice. This isn’t meant to sound pushy or rude, but the black community needs our help. Elie Wiesel once said, “I swore to never be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” If you are unaware of the issues in our society, I will link resources down below so you are able to educate yourself on these problems.

Along with educating yourself, there are many ways you can help. Some of these include, but are not limited to, donating to resources that specialize in racial equality, being active on your social media by using your platform to raise awareness, signing petitions, voting for politicians who will implement change, and informing your children of these problems so the lack of knowledge doesn’t continue into their generation. I refuse to raise my son to become unknowingly part of the problem. I want him to look back at me, as his mom, and know that I stood up for what is right and just. I want to be an advocate for those who have been silenced and a beacon of light for those surrounded by darkness. I will stand up for the fallen and help Americans retrain the way they view race. I will fight for a law enforcement system that values all lives in the black community. I will use my privilege to honor people of color and not oppress them further. This is why I’m using my voice and why you should, too.

Lastly, I want to mention that I have been and will continue to pray over the black community, for our society, and for the families that have lost loved ones due to this injustice. My heart and voice is with you.

Xoxo, Vi

Here are some resources that I have found to be helpful and informative:

https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co

What Riding My Bike Has Taught Me About White PrivilegeDownload
When Peace Becomes ObnoxiousDownload
ReynoldsDownload
Fremont High SchoolDownload
I Will Forever Remain FaithfulDownload
Just Walk on ByDownload
The Paranoid Style of American PolicingDownload
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i havent really had the words to sum up or describe how much the death of George Floyd has played on my mind and weighed on my heart. i dont believe any amount of words will ever be able to reflect how disgusting, evil and horrific his murder was. nobody deserves to die that way. i cant fathom what it must feel like to be born a particular way and be discriminated against based on that, based on the skin tone you were brought into this world with. i cant fathom the constant and relentless anxiety and fear that is felt everyday for anyone who is black or poc. i cannot fathom how it must be trying to live out your day to day life in fear, that in any moment, it can be taken from you for no rhyme or reason, by none other than someone whos job it is to serve and protect you. i have a knot in my throat just thinking about how terrifying and exhausting that must be, to have to try and survive society and callous human beings every single day. i cannot fathom any of it because i am a privileged white woman, but confronting racism is not about the needs and feelings of white people. this is about people of colour who are treated completely different, because of the colour of their skin. this is about innocent lives being lost and the families mourning the unjustified deaths of their loved ones. this is about standing up for what is right against something that is so, so terribly wrong. this is about educating ourselves, using our voice, empowering each other and standing in solidarity with Black and indigenous communities, along with all those fighting for Black lives. i promise to do better and be better, in whichever aspect i can. i will continue to stand up for what i believe in. i will do more.

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Learning to Love My Postpartum Body

· Baby, Personal

I want to preface this before I begin by saying that the way I view my body isn’t entirely based on having Henry Duke. I struggled with wanting a perfect body long before I became pregnant and having a baby didn’t help those thoughts. Regardless of the way my body looks now, I wouldn’t take back those 9 months of growing my son for anything in the world.

This is hard to write, y’all.

When I found out that I was pregnant, I immediately went on the hunt for the best stretch mark prevention products. I wanted to do whatever I could to help the elasticity in my skin so that I could preserve the way my stomach looked. Prior to being pregnant, I genuinely thought that I was big and needed to lose weight…. I was 117 pounds!!!! I hate that I judged my body so harshly when there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. I STILL hate that I judge my body so harshly when there is nothing wrong with it.

I wasn’t very healthy during my pregnancy and that came back to bite me after having HD. I gained 25 pounds during my pregnancy and didn’t have one stretch mark until after I gave birth. I have no idea how that happened, but here I am. I spent so much time worrying about getting stretch marks on my stomach and I ended up getting them on my hips. Isn’t that funny? I was so self conscious about them, and still am, but why? These marks were derived from creating and nurturing this sweet little boy of mine.

About 6 weeks after having Henry Duke, I still didn’t want Chase to see my body. I didn’t want my own husband to look at me closely because I was embarrassed of the way I looked. I was the biggest I had ever been in my life and thought that he wouldn’t find me pretty anymore. Let me just tell you… That was the devil in my head. That was fear talking to me. There wasn’t ONE SECOND where Chase made me feel self conscious. In fact, he couldn’t have cared less! He was grateful that I gave him his son. He once told me that even if my body never goes back to what it once was, he would still love the way it looked. I started repeating that to myself over and over again until one day I finally loved my body too.

Fast forward to now, I’m 4 months PP, I am still 12 pounds over my pre pregnancy weight, and I love my body more than I ever have. My body has fed my baby for 4 months and for that alone, I no longer care about what it looks like on the outside. For the past 4 months, I’ve spent so much time worrying about the number on that scale. I’ve obsessed over working out because I wanted the loose skin to go away and for my muscles to be toned. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to strengthen your postpartum body, I wasn’t going about this in a healthy way. I was trying to perfect what I put into my body so badly during the day that I would end up binging on junk food in the evening. This was NOT healthy! This was the start of a dangerous pattern and I’m glad that I realized this was not okay before it got out of control.

It took a lot to get to where I am now. Ever since high school, I have judged my body harshly. Now, I refuse to continue talking to myself the way I once did. I GREW A HUMAN. My body spent 38 weeks and 6 days crafting a little boy who turned out to be perfectly healthy. I will not allow myself to be upset that I no longer have the frame I did 5 years ago. Even when I had that frame, I still wasn’t happy. This is proof that the number on a scale or the size of your jeans does not influence the amount of self love one has. Even at my biggest, I love my body way more than I ever have.

Even though I have made drastic progress, I still have moments where I have to catch myself from saying something negative. I still can’t fit into the jeans I once wore, I am no longer comfortable in crop tops, and I have a big incision on my bikini line. Because of this, my first instinct is to speak badly about my image. Now, before I even open my mouth, I try to show my body grace instead.

If you are struggling with your body image, try saying these things: “I thank my body for the child it gave me. I am appreciative of the stretch marks I have. I am grateful my body housed a human. I no longer feel ugly in my skin. I love my body. My body is beautiful like it is. I am exercising because I love my body and want to take care of it, not because I hate it. I am thankful to be able to move my body.” These words have helped me more than I ever thought possible. Regardless if you have a had a baby or not, know that your value and self worth does not correlate to your weight. Repeat this until you believe it.

I hope that by sharing my story, it will help one of you to start accepting your body the way it is right now. You are perfect in God’s image even when you don’t think so. Yes, my hips are wider, my thighs are thicker, and my stomach is looser, but I have never felt more confident than I do now. I hope that you can feel this way about yourself too.

Xoxo, Vi

Q + A

· About, Personal

Hey everyone! I thought it would be fun to do a Q + A so y’all can get to know me a little better! I got some fun questions from Instagram and am already excited to get start answering them!

Q: What made you decide to start a blog? A: This was something that I have wanted to do for a few years now. I knew I wanted to have some kind of platform where I could write what I wanted and speak my truth. For a while, I took to Instagram, but then I decided I wanted something that was my own. So many social media apps come and go, but this is something that will always be mine.

Q: Where are you from? A: I always assumed that the people that follow me know me, so this was fun to see that I have some who don’t! I’m from Wetumpka, Alabama. It’s about 20 minutes north-east from Montgomery.

Q: At what age did you dive more deeply into your faith? A: 17. I knew that Chase and I were in a relationship that was going to lead to marriage one day and I wanted to ensure that I was a strong woman of God before hand. I firmly believe that a marriage that is rooted in God’s love will never fail. Our marriage has seen some hard days and there is no doubt that our faith has saved us many times. I was baptized at 21 and have felt like a different person ever since.

Q: How do you prioritize your relationship with God and be a mom at the same time? A: Love this question! I know that becoming a mother stemmed from God. Getting pregnant and carrying your baby full term is nothing short of a miracle. Every time I look at HD, I’m reminded of God’s grace. I want him to grow up in a household that prioritizes their faith. Every morning, we listen to worship music before we do anything else. I’ll sing to him, read a quick little devotion out loud, and pray over us. A sweet mama friend of mine told me to play worship music during bedtime to help him feel safe and secure before he goes to sleep and it truly has worked. Every time he is fussy and needs to sleep, I put on his playlist and it calms him down almost instantly! I hope that this carries into his childhood and he remembers how much I want our family to be centered around Christ.

Q: Has there ever been a time where your faith has cost you a relationship? A: Definitely! The only friendships I have ever lost were toxic and I’m glad those people are no longer in my life. I dated someone in high school who treated me terribly. He made me feel so low. I started to believe that I didn’t deserve someone better, but God shut that thought up real quick! My faith helped me get out of that bad relationship. My faith has never stood in the way with relationships that are actually good for my life. I hope you can remember that if your faith were to ever cost you somebody.

Q: Were you and Chase trying to get pregnant? A: Nooooooo ma’am. We weren’t trying, but we weren’t preventing. We always wanted to have kids young, but we didn’t think we’d have them at 21 and 22. I was never on birth control so we both thought that after years of not using protection, we would have difficulty conceiving. I guess we will find out if we are easily able to purposely conceive when we start trying for baby #2!

Q: How did you find out you were pregnant? How far along were you? Did you think it was a boy? A: We found out I was pregnant on my 21st birthday! I couldn’t remember the last time I had a period so Chase made me take a pregnancy test so I would know whether or not I should have any drinks! We were together when we found out and we were both SHOCKED! I was 4 weeks + 1 day pregnant that day! Happy birthday to me! LOL. I honestly thought I was pregnant with a girl, but Chase knew he was a boy the whole time. Now that he is here, I couldn’t imagine having a girl! I love my boy so very much.

Q: We know that Henry came from your Grandpa, but what about Duke? Why’d y’all choose it? A: Chase would say it’s after John Wayne, but that is not true haha! We both just wanted a middle name that we agreed on, especially since we knew he would most likely go by his middle name. I remember we sat on our couch together for hours trying to pick a name and never could agree. The day we were going to take pictures for our gender announcement, we were sitting in his truck waiting for our photographer and I mentioned the name Duke. He loved it from the start and we both felt like it was just the right name for our baby. We both think it’s a strong name and that it goes with Henry very well!

Q: What’s your greatest hope for Henry Duke’s life? A: I hope that he chooses to follow Jesus and lives a life that is honorable. I want him to make better decisions than his Dad and I ever did. I know that he will be smarter, kinder, and braver than we ever were. I can already tell. I pray over his life every single day

Q: Why did you decide to be a nurse? A: I got this same question many times! Growing up, my two best friends, Catherine and Samantha, twin sisters who were born with a skin disease called Epidermolysis Bullosa. This is a rare genetic connective tissue disorder that causes your skin to tear off from friction. We met in the 3rd grade and I have seen them suffer in ways little children shouldn’t have to. Even though their pain, they were so fearless in their journey. Once they both passed, I knew that I wanted to be a nurse so I could care for others. They have influenced my life in so many ways and I’m grateful to have known them.

Q: What would you be if you weren’t pursuing nursing? A: I would have been an elementary school teacher. I love kids so much, especially those ages. One day, I hope to be a school nurse after I’ve gotten all of my hospital experiences out of my system!

Q: What does your husband do in the Army? A: He is a Sniper in the Infantry! He loves his job and does so well in the military. He has worked so hard and given up so much to be where he is today. I’m so proud to be his wife.

Q: Although I know you missed Chase, was it fun to live on your own for a while? A: YES! I learned so much about myself while living alone! I still do! At first, I was scared to be in an empty apartment/house, but now, I enjoy it! It’s so refreshing to be able to come home after a long day to a quiet home where I can do whatever I want. If I don’t want to do the dishes or make my bed, I don’t have to! That freedom is liberating and I highly suggest living on your own temporarily at some point in your life!

Q: Any advice for others in a military relationship? My boyfriend is about to start basic training and I’m a wreck! A: You are about to start one heck of a journey girlfriend! I think the most important aspects to have for military relationships are patience, understanding, and loyalty. There will be times where you have to be apart and being patient during those times is a must. Understand that they don’t want to leave you and know that if they had a choice, they would come home to you every single night. Stay loyal, sis! Both of you. This is huge. Loyalty is hard to come by in the military. People are always stepping out of their relationships because they are lonely and sad. Make sure you have open communication and are honest about what you expect from each other! I don’t say this to scare anyone, but just to keep it real. Dear John letters are REAL and they happen on both ends. Put in the work, pray, and stay faithful. Y’all will make it! 🙂

Q: Go to easy healthy recipes you enjoy. A: I love this! I’m the QUEEN of easy! I am not good in the kitchen, so whenever I cook, it’s super simple and healthy! I’ll definitely post some of those recipes here for y’all now that I know it’s a topic of interest!

Q: How many babies do y’all want and when is #2 coming? A: We want so many kids! We are thinking 4-6 🙂 I want an even number of kids so that one kiddo isn’t ever left out! We want them to be pretty close together too! We are wanting to start trying for #2 once Duke is 1 <3

Thanks so much for asking these questions y’all! I had so much fun answering them. I hope this helps y’all to get to know me a little better! There were so many questions that I had a hard time picking, so if I didn’t answer a question you wanted to hear, let me know in the comments below! Or you can always DM me on Instagram @vi.thomas <3 Thanks for being here friends!

Xoxo, Vi

22 Things I’ve Learned in 22 Years

· Personal

As I’m celebrating my 22nd birthday in a quieter way than usual, I’ve had time to reminisce on all that I’ve learned during my time on this earth. They may seem small and silly to some, but I like to think the minor details have a huge influence in the way someone’s life unfolds.

  1. Mornings aren’t as bad as I once thought. I used to dread waking up early but now, I actually prefer it. I love seeing the sun rise, enjoying the quiet before my family awakes, and spending time with my son while he is his happiest. Don’t get me wrong, I love to sleep in when I can, but it seems like those days are long over for me now that I’m a mom.
  2. Exercising is far more effective when you do it because you love your body rather than hate it. I always thought that I needed to get into shape because I needed to fix my body, but now, I make it a priority in my life because I love my body and want to take care of it. This was huge for me.
  3. Take lots of pictures, even if it gets on people’s nerves. Find the balance between being present and pulling out your camera/phone to capture the moment. One day, you will be so appreciative that you have those memories to look back on.
  4. Marriage is hard. It’s not always 50/50. Some days, I need Chase more than he needs me and vice versa. Sometimes it’s 80/20 and that’s okay. We show up for each other and that’s what maintains our strong relationship.
  5. Some friendships are temporary. Every season in your life will bring different people. It’s normal to be sad when each chapter ends, but some relationships are only meant to be short lived. It took me a while to learn this. I don’t carry any harsh feelings for friends that I have lost touch with. I know that we are all in different phases of life but could still reconnect today and pick up where we left off.
  6. It’s okay to sit in silence to be alone with your thoughts.
  7. Life is all about balance. Eat healthy meals and have a guilty pleasure for dessert. Do your homework and then binge watch Netflix. Do what you need and don’t feel guilty for following up with a personal desire.
  8. Book the dang trip.
  9. Don’t blame others for your own shortcomings. Admit what went wrong and learn from it.
  10. Ask for help when you need it.
  11. Study hard, even when you don’t have the motivation. It WILL pay off.
  12. The more dogs… The better.
  13. Put your faith first in all aspects of your life. In your marriage, in your job, in your friendships, in your home. My faith has saved me and my marriage many times over.
  14. Make your bed every day. It sets a great tone for your day and is proven to help you be more successful and settle anxiety. Nothing feels better than crawling into clean, perfectly folded sheets at the end of a long day.
  15. Do what scares you. This blog is living proof of acknowledging the fear and going for it anyways. My motto for this blog is, “You know, sometimesallyou need is twentyseconds of insane courage. Just literally twentysecondsof just embarrassingbravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”
  16. You can never rewatch Gilmore Girls too many times. or Friends.
  17. Stop worrying so much about what other people think of you. I still have to remind myself daily of this because I’m the world’s biggest people pleaser. At the end of the day, you can only do what is best for you and that is enough. As long as you are happy with what you are doing, the opinion of others don’t matter. Don’t allow the judgement of others into your headspace when it’s not warranted.
  18. Wear sunscreen.
  19. You have to water your plants to keep them alive. Who knew?
  20. Having emotions doesn’t make you weak. It takes great strength to admit that you are suffering, in pain, need a break, or want help.
  21. If you don’t love yourself first, you cannot accept the love others are offering you.
  22. Spend extra time with your family. Go to your Aunt’s house, spend time with your Grandma in the kitchen, watch TV with your Grandpa, go shopping with your Mother-In-Law, let your Sister-In-Law teach you how to solve a Rubik’s cube, and rock your baby until he’s asleep because one day he won’t need it. Cherish the days of your baby relying on you. Each day they grow older and need you a little less.

I feel like 22 will be an amazing year. I’m so thankful for everything that year 21 brought me. I was pregnant with my son, gave birth, became a mom, my husband deployed, I lost a dog and gained a new one. What a year to remember.

What are some things you have learned over time? I’d love to hear them! Thanks for being here.

Xoxo, Vi

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